I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Randomize
