is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
You have to summon your inner elephant
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
