I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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