so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Randomize
