So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Randomize
