i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Pants are for mortals
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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