I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
