ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
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