apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Randomize
