I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
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