my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
