It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
