he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
