dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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