either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
