it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Randomize
