In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Randomize
