WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Randomize
