He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
