i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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