Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
