found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Randomize
