Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
