she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize
