Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Randomize
