Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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