i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Randomize