we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
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