I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
