he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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