Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize