I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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