Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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