this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Boobs are out for the taking
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
