My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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