I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Ketchup is God's man juice
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
