I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
