Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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