if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
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