so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
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