I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
