Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
