i love accidental penises.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
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