Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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