we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Randomize
