Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
