I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
pop tarts are not kleenex
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
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