Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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