Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Randomize
