I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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