Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Randomize
