in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
