so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize