Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
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