Don't you send me to vm
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
My vagina is officially offended.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
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