It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
