I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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